Musicians who aren't
I freely admit I'm a music snob. Just thought I'd get that out there before you all burn me at the stake for the rest of this post.
Non-Musician #1: This person decided to join my choir this week. He told me that he had sung for church services before and even knew his vocal range. This, of course, proves nothing. So I decide to test his vocal range and he's pretty much there. However, he can barely match a pitch against the piano unless I'm singing with him. He then claims he can hear anything once and sing it back. I thought, "Good, at least he has a good memory cause the choir learns everything by rote anyway." So I tested him on that, and he only got a few notes after I played it the first time. Well, maybe he's just a little boastful. Next thing he says: "I mostly do opera." -- "Oh? What arias have you done?" -- "Phantom of the Opera." -- (I cringe inside) "That's not exactly opera you know..." I then proceed to play what I can remember from "Music of the Night", the big one sung by Phantom. Yeah, he starts singing it in a completely different key. I rest my case.
Non-Musician #2: This lady contacted me last week because she wanted some help with learning Panis Angelicus (Franck). I thought, okay, at least she's asking for help. She said that although she's into classical repertoire, no one at her church is and they can't help her. Anyway, I meet with her on Thursday morning. She has a decent tone, but poor vocal production. Not good, but typical. She sings through a bit of the piece and doesn't do too badly although her diction needed some serious work (jeez no one knows Ecclesiastical Latin nowadays). We get to the second half of the piece and she has no clue what to do. It took me 3 or 4 tries to figure out she was trying to sing it again from the beginning, not from the second section which is slightly varied. After singing it, she tells me she learned it by listening to Charlotte Church (of all people, help me God) and can't read music. Someone please explain to me how that makes her a classical singer. Furthermore, the reason why she needed me is that none of the "musicians" in her church can read and play music! Well, I take pity on her and try to show her a few things she can use to improve her vocal technique (which was no small accomplishment, considering her frequent digressions). I recommend that while she has talent, she needs some better technique and should seek out an instructor at UMKC or the Music-Arts Institute. She then shows me this aria she would like to sing (she heard Charlotte Church sing it apparently). It's no less than the "Jewel Song" from Gounoud's Faust. Only one of the hardest arias in existence, and definitely not one that Charlotte Church should be doing, much less this lady.
Congratulations go out to Charlotte Church, Josh Groban, Andrea Bocelli, and Andrew Lloyd Webber (among others). You have successfully RUINED classical music for the general public.
Non-Musician #1: This person decided to join my choir this week. He told me that he had sung for church services before and even knew his vocal range. This, of course, proves nothing. So I decide to test his vocal range and he's pretty much there. However, he can barely match a pitch against the piano unless I'm singing with him. He then claims he can hear anything once and sing it back. I thought, "Good, at least he has a good memory cause the choir learns everything by rote anyway." So I tested him on that, and he only got a few notes after I played it the first time. Well, maybe he's just a little boastful. Next thing he says: "I mostly do opera." -- "Oh? What arias have you done?" -- "Phantom of the Opera." -- (I cringe inside) "That's not exactly opera you know..." I then proceed to play what I can remember from "Music of the Night", the big one sung by Phantom. Yeah, he starts singing it in a completely different key. I rest my case.
Non-Musician #2: This lady contacted me last week because she wanted some help with learning Panis Angelicus (Franck). I thought, okay, at least she's asking for help. She said that although she's into classical repertoire, no one at her church is and they can't help her. Anyway, I meet with her on Thursday morning. She has a decent tone, but poor vocal production. Not good, but typical. She sings through a bit of the piece and doesn't do too badly although her diction needed some serious work (jeez no one knows Ecclesiastical Latin nowadays). We get to the second half of the piece and she has no clue what to do. It took me 3 or 4 tries to figure out she was trying to sing it again from the beginning, not from the second section which is slightly varied. After singing it, she tells me she learned it by listening to Charlotte Church (of all people, help me God) and can't read music. Someone please explain to me how that makes her a classical singer. Furthermore, the reason why she needed me is that none of the "musicians" in her church can read and play music! Well, I take pity on her and try to show her a few things she can use to improve her vocal technique (which was no small accomplishment, considering her frequent digressions). I recommend that while she has talent, she needs some better technique and should seek out an instructor at UMKC or the Music-Arts Institute. She then shows me this aria she would like to sing (she heard Charlotte Church sing it apparently). It's no less than the "Jewel Song" from Gounoud's Faust. Only one of the hardest arias in existence, and definitely not one that Charlotte Church should be doing, much less this lady.
Congratulations go out to Charlotte Church, Josh Groban, Andrea Bocelli, and Andrew Lloyd Webber (among others). You have successfully RUINED classical music for the general public.
posted by Seanicus at
12/17/2004 02:58:00 PM
